I have been married to a man I truly loved for 25 years. These past few years?

his self centered ness his lack of respect form me and the childre, now teens and in their 20's is too much he is not good with money, we are always behond on the bills if I pay them, he pays them again and you can imagine that mess..he has stolen my older sons identity and charged 30k on a credit card and is now making payments. My son looks at me and asks wyh 'we'did this to him.. I am at the end of my rope and wnat to leave how do you know its time???